lottery winner

A man from a poor family wins £5 million on the lottery, He goes home and gives his dad five hundred quid.The old man looks at the cash and says, "thanks, son, this money will mean a lot to me. We"ve never had much in this family, we"ve always been poor. You know, I couldn"t even afford to marry your mother.""What!" exclaims the son, "you mean I"m.......well.......a bastard?""Yep," replies his dad, "and an effing tight one.